This gratitude exercise is so good you'll cry

November reminds us to be grateful. But ideally, we're practicing gratitude daily. Gratitude is healing, life giving, and can change your perspective. Numerous studies show that gratitude is one of the strongest predictors of positive mental health. People who are grateful are more satisfied with their relationships. They’re happier, more optimistic, less depressed, and less stressed. In fact, they're more likely to exercise regularly!

This particular holiday season, I feel like we could all use some extra strength gratitude. That's why I wanted to share this one form of appreciation that brought me to tears: writing the acknowledgement section of my book.

Most of the time, the process of writing my book felt like walking a treacherous path all alone. But once I began the acknowledgements, the part where you thank the people who helped you, it felt like I was rewriting my entire experience. Gratitude came flooding in. It became clear to me how abundantly held I was the whole time. 

What if the times where you feel like you're holding up the world on your shoulders all by yourself, you actually are standing on the shoulders of others?

If you could use some heart warming positivity and togetherness, try your own version of an acknowledgement section (you don't need to be an author to do this). Here's how:

• Start with at least 10 minutes. You can go longer or return to this exercise as you remember more and more people to thank. I spent weeks writing mine. 
• Consider an accomplishment you're proud of. This can be anything that matters to you - raising a human, winning a client, creating a new product, speaking your truth, or finishing a race.
• Write down every single person who made it possible for you to achieve this accomplishment and describe how they aided you. Go all the way back in time. If you ran a race, remember the first person who encouraged you to join the track team. Who drove you to the track meets? Who cheered you on? Who washed your uniforms? Who organized and sponsored the race? Go as far back as you can recall, go as wide as you can consider. Your journey has been long. Acknowledge every teacher, family member, friend, colleague, mentor, client, or stranger that contributed.  
• Notice what you notice as you write. Personally, I was overwhelmed. I realized there was no end to how far I could go.
• Consider sharing it. This exponentially compounds the goodness. That's what I'm doing here.

My acknowledgements are in my book, (which I hope you pre-order), but I'm also displaying them fully here, taken directly from my book:

"I’ve been looking forward to writing this part the most. And yet, now that I’m here, it feels impossible to come up with the right words and capture all the people. I didn’t mention it earlier as a tool for generating happiness . . . but do this. Write a letter of thanks to everyone who helped get you to where you are. Like me, I’m sure you’ll be flooded with gratitude and love. In many ways while writing this book, I felt like I was walking a treacherous path all alone. But now, as I wrap up and reflect deeply on who helped me get here, I realize just how held and supported I’ve been all along. This is a testament to togetherness.

I thank each client, team member, intern, vendor, friend, family member, colleague, publishing team member, and beyond. Each of our interactions has been important, so thank you for whoever has crossed my path; you’re woven into this fabric. I’m sure that I’ll look back and realize that I missed some critical names; for that, forgive me. My love flies to you all.

To My Family

To my husband, Ilya. Thank you for creating the space and giving me the grace to do this work and be myself. Thank you for cheering me on and loving me through all the moods and pages. From our first date, an immersive research project on play, to assembling my iScream Trucks, to giving me feedback despite my defensiveness, to 24/7 IT support, to fathering, you are my sandpaper and my cosmic comfort. The nitichka only gets stronger.

Thank you to my children, who deliver awe, joy, and hope each day. Linor, you’ve been my growth accelerator. Your love and existence has propelled me to do this work. Linor wants the world to know—and I agree—kids’ feelings and needs deserve respect. Lev, thank you for reminding me to trust. Thank you for coming at just the right time to help me embody love and to encourage me to set boundaries. You both are my greatest teachers.

To my parents, who gave me my first job at their optical store. Mama, you inspire me to live life brightly, boldly, and beautifully. Thank you for always believing in me. I know your love, courage, and strength goes deeper than I can fathom. Papa, thank you for your tender heart, care, wisdom and for making us laugh. You always reinforce the truth: family matters. And your delicious plov brings us together!

To my sister Biana, thank you for being there—on a tightrope or in a tight spot, I’m grateful to have you in my life. You’ve supported me at from being my shopping assistant and my intern at the iScream Truck to helping launch the Work Happiness Method at organizations.

To my in-laws, Sonyachka and Fimachka, how did I get so lucky? I hope Ilya and I will have as rich a life as you when we reach your years—surrounded by friends, engaged in culture and passion, and walking four miles a day!

To my sister-in-law, Anya. Thank you for taking care of all of us during my surgery. Thank you for your friendship. I’m in awe of your capacity to love. . . and organize! Thanks to Sasha, David, and Emma for holding things down at home while Anya transformed our home and hearts for the better.

To my Aunt Angela and Uncle Sasha, thank you for helping raise me. You brought me joy and comfort and expanded my horizons. Vikey, Andre, Nicole, Oleg, Richie, Jackie—I love you all.

To my family who are not here to hold this book in their hands but who have supported me always: Papa Senya, Baba Raya, Deda Yosya, Baba Frida, Deda Sasha, Baba Laura, Deda Fima, and all those who are sending their highest support, love, and light, thank you for being there.

To My Friends

Life feels more right after we talk. I breathe easier knowing you’re by my side. From reading chapters to giving me feedback on the book cover and validating me when I was scared, thank you, Jessica Alpert, Lisa Zigarmi, Marjorie Dickinson, Olga Lemberg, Seth Yalcin, Alina Liberman, and Andrew Sinkov. A+A, extra thanks for housing my writing retreats. I appreciate all the friends who showed up for brainstorms, attended events, made connections, helped me along my long journey, and just kept me and the fam company: Lana and Alex Rovner, Annie Nazarian Davydov, Mike Davydov, Leydi and Eddie Roffman, Tanya and George Pushchinsky, Cynthia Koons, Karla Lightfoot, Jeffrey Briggs, Christy Liu, Evan Schneyer, Jessica Huang, Claudia Huerta, Kelly Quinley, Jen and Andrew Hall, Hollie Greene, Jim Rottman, Lenny Rachitsky, Michelle Rial, Amy and Adam Odessky, Selena Soo, Sloane Davidson, Alexa Brandt, Jessica Randazza, Erica Berger, Alisa Vitti. Anna Wolf, you started all this by getting me back into coaching. Thank you!

It Takes a Village

There’s no fulfillment at work if you can’t have proper childcare. I wouldn’t be able to do my work if it weren’t for great nannies, babysitters, teachers, day cares, and schools. I pray we can transform our systems to make quality childcare and education available to all. A loving thanks to Ida, Samira, Guzel, Cynthia, Elena, Nuria, and Oksana. Thank you, also, to my family for watching the kids when you could.

To My Well-Being Squad

Yolanda Martin, I don’t know how I’d make it through without you. I know you say I’d find a way, but I owe much of my growth and transformation to you. Thank you for encouraging me to notice what I notice—that’s echoed throughout these pages. Madeline Till, thank you for helping me slow down and sort through my past so I can be more present. Jacqueline Winchester, I’m in awe of your miraculous work; each of our sessions has been a game changer. Janaki Amin, thank you for teaching me how to communicate with my body. Anastasia Bazarova, thank you for your loving support and presence, friendship, and healing. Paula Parker, thank you for screwing my head on straight each time I see you. Melissa Wolfe-Rosebro, thank you for teaching me how to move efficiently. Karissa, thanks for your intuition and encouraging me to explore publishing. Dr. Chi, thank you for your lifesaving work.

To Mappsters, Mentors, and Teachers

Thank you to the Mappster community at large—you all inspire me. I’ve been quiet and haven’t made the annual gatherings in a while, but I feel your kind spirit and am grateful for your work. Thank you to Martin Seligman for founding this field and to Barbara Fredrickson for her research and support throughout the years. Thanks to Beth Schoenfeldt and Victoria Colligan for founding Ladies Who Launch and giving me a chance to participate and help grow such an exciting community of entrepreneurs. Thank you to Belle Frank—for seeing me and encouraging me to spread my wings. Thanks to the Barnard Writing Fellows program for normalizing the angst of writing. Thank you to my fifth-grade teacher, Mr. B., who quieted the angry boys in my class when I presented my book report on Elizabeth Cady Stanton and argued for a female president. Thank you to my second-grade teacher, Ms. Duffola, for your warmth and nurturing my spelling edge.

To My Clients

For privacy reasons, I won’t name you here, but know that you’re close in my heart and the source of all of this. Even if it’s been decades. To each person I have coached, I’m grateful you trusted me to be a part of your journey. You’ve taught me so much and informed this work. I love celebrating your celebrations. Keep sending them! To my speaking clients, thank you for the opportunity to support your teams and organization. Each time I get in front of a group, I leave energized and grateful. You help me live on purpose.

To My Colleagues

Stephanie Wilson, you’ve kept this business flowing while I’ve been head down—I couldn’t do it without you. Thank you for keeping me organized with my citations. Sean Mandell, thank you for doing the heavy lifting in setting up systems and flows early on in my business. To Kate Zeitler, thanks for your fabulous design. Christine Campione, thanks for generously opening so many doors and, most importantly, becoming a good friend. To Stephan Mardyks, thanks for encouraging me to go for publishing and for helping me get this program out in the world with SM Covey. Thanks to Valorie Burton, Carin Rockind, and Senia Maymin for cheering me on and reading my initial proposal. Senia, thanks for your guidance and introducing me to my agent, Jill Marsal. Thank you to Monica Shah for helping me get my practice off the ground. Thanks to SV Change for being a community that took the lonely edge off writing. Thanks to Ilene Schaffer for reading my boundaries chapter and recommending Theano.

To My Writing Support System

Thanks to Theano Writing Group, including Kathryn Britton, Yashi Srivastava, Kelly Beischel, Aren Cohen, Bess Keller, and Jan Stanley, for giving me loving feedback. Thank you to Sue Shapiro for responding to my emails at all hours of the night—I’m grateful for your perspective and support.

To My Publishing Team

Thank you to my agent, Jill Marsal, for your faith in me, guidance, and kindness. Thank you to my developmental editor, Dan Ambrosio; you made my dream come true. Each call with you left me feeling supported and seen. Thank you to the design, sales, marketing, PR, legal, and editing team at Hachette Go and everyone who touched this book, including Andrew Goldberg, Nzinga Temu, Alison Dalafave, Christina Palaia, Sean Moreau, Kara Brammer, and Lauren Rosenthal. I’m so immensely grateful for your support. I couldn’t do this without you.”

Thank YOU for being here with me along my winding journey. Your reading these words gives me purpose. I wouldn't have motivation, ideas, or a business with you. You matter to me.

With love and gratitude,

Stella

What I’ve been up to…

This week I spoke at Audible about How to Master Difficult Conversations! We had so much fun. We're also working on a new website and creating some exciting bonuses for folks to pre-order my book (all coming soon!).

Would you like me to speak at your organization?

I'd love to help elevate the resilience, wellbeing, engagement, and happiness of your staff. Please reach out if you're looking for a speaker. My book comes out in March and I'm creating some exciting bundles when you pre-order. 

Popular Keynotes and Workshops:

• The Science of Happiness at Work: 3 Keys to Stay Engaged
• How to Stay Sane, Resilient, and Positive in Uncertain Times
• Organic Confidence: How to Stop Feeling Like an Imposter
• How to Set Health Boundaries and Avoid Burnout

Let's explore what we can do together for your next offsite, conference, or webinar series. Book some time for us to talk at workwithstella.com.

PRE-ORDER THE BOOK!

If you are feeling dissatisfied, bored, miserable or just unenthusiastic about your work, it is not all your fault. But it is your responsibility to do something about it.

Packed with practical strategies and proven principles, The Work Happiness Method is a roll up your sleeves and figure things out yourself approach to love your work (and life). 

Why order the book now? Early sales indicate demand and can help determine the success of the book. Plus, I'm creating some exciting bonuses for those that pre-order (announcement coming soon!). Please save your receipt or take a picture of it.

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