Things just not going your way?
Hi! I'm Stella
In the past week or so, I've had at least five appointments reschedule on me. At first, I was like, “What the H is going on?” I was taking these scheduling changes very personally.
I had been looking forward to connecting with those folks. And so the more I festered on it, the more I headed down the Victim's Path: “Here I am offering to help these guys, and they’re totally dissing me. Rescheduling at the last minute…totally not respecting my time." Whaa, whaa, whaa.
But then I caught myself: What had I been saying all week about being exhausted, having back-to-back sessions and meetings, needing to remember to create some space in my calendar….
Wow, was I now getting what I’d been silently asking for?! Playing the self-involved, put-upon victim, I almost totally missed it!
Suddenly, I felt so much lighter. I realized that thanks to all this rescheduling, I now had time to have a latte at my favorite cafe in the middle of the day and work on my next program.
I went from Woe is me to Lucky me! From seeing this incident through a negative filter to realizing this was actually a blessing in disguise!
I wonder how much you can relate to this story right this second.
- Is there something going on right now that's disappointing and/or annoying you—or maybe something from your recent past?
- Can you take a few minutes and think about how else you could view the situation?
- Is it possible to reframe it, change the focus, find a silver lining and maybe even start seeing it as a blessing in disguise?
Fact is, so many of the frustrations, annoyances and disappointments in our lives aren’t always as bad as we make them out to be. I like the analogy of being the director of our own movie. We get to choose where to point the camera and decide what kind of story we want to live.
Picture this: There are five movie directors in the dining room of the same restaurant, with the same equipment, same number of cameras, but depending on what each one chose to focus on, we could have five different films: One sees a couple playing footsie and makes a romantic comedy. Another decides that couple is having an affair and turns it into a drama about cheating spouses. Another sees them as a hook-up on Tinder and creates a fun story about the age of digital dating—or is it a drama about the shallowness of digital dating?! See where I’m going with this?
There are often several perspectives from which to see a single incident and tell its story. Of course, not everything can be a rom-com or should be seen only through rose-colored glasses. So, what’s the moral of the story? Don’t immediately rush to judgment. And if something really is a drag, look for some upsides; finding some positives to focus on will help make things easier to get through.
Which perspective do you usually tell your stories from? Think you could learn to reframe some things? I’d love to hear what you think of this.
By the way, didn't have a chance to book your strategy session? Want to talk?
I'm out of the 1-hour sessions that were my New Year’s gift to you, but I’m happy to offer three 30-minute sessions this month.
Check it out and book your 30 minute session here. First come, first served.
Meantime, here’s wishing you lots of blessings (even if they're in disguise).
Best,
Stella