Restoring, Resetting, Returning + Coaching with me

I was recently untangling some Halloween decor (eyeball lights actually) when I stumbled upon a lovely analogy for how to get unstuck. This string of eyeball lights were all knotted up. The more I gently eased the tension between the wires, the more space I had to unwind them. It wasn't clear which direction each eyeball should go...so I had to feel it out. I had to experiment. If I pulled too hard, they got knotted up again.

Eventually once there was enough slack, they spontaneously untangled on their own with barely any effort.  

You see where I'm going with this, right?

When we contract into a big knot, whether it's from exhaustion, loss, shame, overwhelm, confusion, disappointment, anger, or even boredom - the way out is not to jerk yourself forward but rather to softly unravel. The disclaimer here is you need space, time, and patience. It can be awfully inconvenient. I know.

Sometimes the direction to get through your tension or to restore won't be clear. Feedback that you're making progress may be subtle. It may look like nothing is happening, like things still seem messy. But the more you allow yourself to relax...to release rather than to pull, the more gracefully you can unwind.

Why go through such a maddening process, that feels like it's empty of reward? That is invisible to the eye?

Because that's how we access our true power to get lit up (pun intended). And also, you don't have much choice. You can fight it or allow it.

Easing up gives way to alignment so you're not self questioning, or self pitying, or self sabotaging. That's how you return to you...that most alive, on purpose, beautiful self.

Recently I found myself in a knot. With the book launch, selling our home, buying a new one, kids, world news, and not enough sleep - I couldn't quite find my way back to me. It felt difficult to access my energy, enthusiasm, and creativity.

I was kinda blah.

Flat.  

How ironic, I just wrote a book on how to feel like your most alive self. And here I was - disintegrated.

But thankfully, I knew this was part of the process. I knew the way to refocus was to let go. (That's what Chapter 8 in my book is all about).

I knew to trust this. I had been down this hole or in this knot before - wrestling with it, pushing forward, grinding through. This time I was wiser. And I surrendered. I knew the flatness was calling me. So I listened.

I took time off.
I napped.
I didn't set goals.
I did some body work.
I walked in nature.
I delayed projects...or cancelled them.
I settled more for imperfection.
I let myself be uncomfortably bored.
I deleted social media from my phone.
I didn't sign my kids up for a gazillion activities.
I just consumed easy shows and books (nothing too thought provoking).  
I went back to therapy.
I cancelled workouts when I was exhausted, I worked out when I had it in me.
I didn't keep a to-do list (honestly, I couldn't even remember to check it if I tried).
I let my toddler watch a ton of tv.
I connected with my friends.

When people asked: what's next for you, Stella.  I answered, "I'm waiting to see what unfolds."

A big part of me resisted and felt obligated to hustle. But a Knowing part of me knew better.  

I've gently been making my way back. I've been doing a lot of speaking but very little coaching. For the last two years, while I was writing and then marketing the book, I shut down all exploratory sessions for my coaching. I didn't have time. I only accepted client referrals.

Now the spaciousness is returning. In a few weeks, my schedule will be open for complimentary discovery sessions in November. If you're ready for your next thing, or need help returning to yourself, or find yourself in a knot, or just want more from your career and life - let's see if we're a match for coaching. If you're ready for something real, fulfilling, and transformational let's see what we can do!

Book a complimentary discovery session with me.

Even if I'm not the coach for you, you'll walk away with insight, reflection, integration, and some very practical next steps you can take. And what about me? Returning to more coaching is coming back home. It's my way of attuning to what's needed. Even if we don't end up working together, our conversation may be just the spark I need for designing my next course, book, or talk.

Spots are limited. Here's that link again.

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