How to Love Yourself—and WHY

here was a time in my life when things went pretty dark. I had lost all my savings in the stock market during the crash. My business was struggling. And, cherry on top, I was about to get married to the wrong man.

Fortunately, I came to (sort of) my senses and cancelled the wedding 30 days before. But the dress was bought, invitations sent and lots of guests had booked their flights. 

How the HELL did I land here?

Shouldn’t I have known better?!? After all, I had two Ivy League degrees, I was an advocate for women's business independence and creating the life of their dreams…yet, here I was, moving in with my parents. And feeling beyond sorry for myself.

After a little distance, that year I decided to figure out what had happened. How did I almost go so wildly off the rails? What wasn't I seeing or hearing? Turns out, it’s what I wasn’t doing: not loving myself enough.

I realized I was depending on others to make me happy and feel worthy of love. 

Here's the thing. If your foundation is based on external forces (like the convictions and decisions of others, as mine was), then you're nothing more than a marionette…responding to tugs and pulls outside yourself, instead of leading from within.

So I wondered, how can I change that... how can I start to love myself? What does that even mean?

Something told me it was more than just being nicer to myself and going for more mani/pedis.  It was quite a year of discovery.

Fast forward to today. I'm so grateful to Lodro Rinzler and Meggan Watterson for writing the book, How To Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People): Spiritual Advice for Modern Relationships (Hay House, 2015). I only wish I'd had it years ago!

Meggan, who also wrote Reveal: A Sacred Manual for Getting Spiritually Naked, has her Masters of Theological Studies from Harvard Divinity School and a Masters of Divinity from Columbia University. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Women’s Radio, Feminist.com, Feministing.com, and StyleSubstanceSoul.com. 

Lodro is a teacher in the Shambhala Buddhist lineage, founder of the Institute for Compassionate Leadership and the author of five books on meditation, including the best-selling The Buddha Walks into a Bar. Lodro's columns appear regularly in the Huffington Post, Marie Claire, and elephant journal. He has also been featured on WNYC, WBUR, FOX and the CBC.

Enjoy this quick video in which Meggan and Lodro share their wisdom about:

• What love is
• What it means to love yourself
• Why loving yourself is, first and foremost, essential to personal happiness
• AND how you actually do it

Would love to hear your thoughts on the topic—and your own personal love stories.

Love (that’s to all of us!),

Stella